During college, the median age of my friends was about 88. I hung out with them nights and weekends for three years.<\/p>\n
Sure, I got paid a whopping $4.25 an hour and worked a physically demanding job, but I survived by enjoying the connections I made with the residents and staff of the elder-care facility where I worked.<\/p>\n
Some 20 years later, when my mother moved in with me, she told me, “When the time comes, I want you to put me in a nursing home.”<\/p>\n
“Never,” was my response. I knew that even in the best facilities, things can go wrong.<\/p>\n
Not everyone has the luxury to stay home with family, so what can we do to get our loved ones the best care possible? When friends would ask me, based on my own experiences, I always said to look for non-profit facilities, perhaps one run by an organization like a church, with community involvement and a volunteer group.<\/p>\n
This holiday season, I am thinking of our seniors living in long-term care. Here’s how we can all help.<\/p>\n
When my mother went to a temporary rehab center after her second hip replacement, I visited her daily, sometimes twice a day, and quickly realized I had to get her out of there. She couldn’t remember where she was, or why she was there. She was getting no therapy, nor much care other than some medicine that she wasn’t on previously. They told me she had dementia. They showed me a test she failed when she couldn’t draw a clock (Salvador Dali would have been proud).<\/p>\n
They said she would need continued care and likely wouldn’t return home.<\/p>\n
Prior to her surgery, she was fine, with a sound mind. But she struggled to fully wake up from the anesthesia, so they couldn’t start her physical rehab right away. The hospital arranged to send her to a rehab center. I didn’t think to check them out first. I guess I thought the hospital would know if it was a good facility. It wasn’t.<\/p>\n
After a week, I walked into the administration offices and asked to see her chart. They were giving her medicines that weren’t part of her regular regimen. I told them I was taking her home.<\/p>\n
They hadn’t changed her bedding, helped her bathe, or done any physical therapy since she had been checked in. It made me appreciate even more the nonprofit place I had worked at in college, and our fabulous volunteers, rigorous attention to the residents, and the work ethic of my colleagues.<\/p>\n
“You think you can take care of her better than we can?” the nursing administrator asked me.<\/p>\n